My wife, Anna, is amazing. She is everything I could have hoped for, and we’re very happy. The thing is, though, we are completely different. I know the whole “opposites attract” thing, and I’m not complaining. Really it’s not annoying; it’s usually kind of funny.
One of our biggest differences is how we look at food. She is very healthy, thinking some light steamed vegetables over a bed of brown rice with a small side of chicken breast is the perfect meal. I happen to think most foods can be considerably improved with the addition of gravy. This isn’t the only difference, but its fairly indicative of our two schools of thought.
Every once in a while I read an article or come across a new medical study that, finally, supports something I do as being healthy. Not long ago, a study surfaced showing that by drinking four or more cups of coffee a day will help prevent colon cancer. Victory! Never mind the fact that the study also shoed increased stomach problems due to the volume of the caffeinated brew, you have to focus when reading these things.
I came home happy the other night. It was another good day for news. As we made dinner together, I announced my plans to start being healthier. This was met with immediate support and a few suggestions to help me on my way. I told Anna that I was reading and had found a natural way to help strengthen my memory and prevent Alzheimer’s, natural always being a plus, it seems. There were two things that would help: cigars and cigarettes. She was less than pleased.
Although I officially quit smoking cigarettes almost three years ago, there have been a couple short relapses. (It’s okay, she knows about them.) This highlights another of our differences: while I spent my late teens trying to see how much of a hacking cough I could develop, she was playing basketball and volleyball, and generally being a healthy person. Honestly, though, I don’t really want to go back to cigarettes; the affair is over.
Now a good cigar, on the other hand, is still something to be enjoyed. As they don’t really involve lung cancer (only potential mouth and throat cancer, but really the statistics are pretty low for cigars, so leave me alone), these Anna good-naturedly puts up with. But now, they’re not just good, they’re good for me! I knew it.
Later that night, I ended up sitting out on the balcony at a friend’s house. We were talking and enjoying our cigars. I looked over across the table at him and told him to take a long draw on his cigar.
“Now, hold it for a minute . . . Okay, let it go. Now what you just did? You just staved off Alzheimer’s.”